no shawn.. i'm not a bluffer.. i didnt cheat your feelings.. no jeff.. i didnt get KIA...

i'm just so restless today.. i suddenly just felt that so many things in my life are not within my control.. so many friends to catch up with.. so many lives to impact.. so many souls to save.. so little time.. leading somewhat a double life... behaving and living life with more un-belief than any un-believer...


why is it easier to always "behave" in church when compare to schools, campus, camps.. blah.. bla...

we dont see ourselves as a child of god.. that's the problem.. we forgot out identity.. we dont exercise our right n christ.. we see ourselves as students-mugging-for-number-one... project member.. results delieverer.. we stress ourselves.. worse...

we see ourselves as project leader.. manager... supervisor.. jialat... u stress yourself.. u stress other people under you,, you impose your standard on others... **okok.. me me.. i'm talking about myself**

i thank god for grace.. thank god for the finished work.. my second chance never run out.. get-out-of-jail free as many times as i can get in.. i believe i will get out of this mess soon.. soon lord.. i know.. u will lead out of this step by step.. side by side with me.. i will make this a stepping stone...