When i felt misunderstood..
"I am here"


That's what i heard HIM said....



When i felt that i can't be more useless then what i already am...
"I am here", HE said...



When i couldn't hold back my tears...
"I am here"...


When my world crumbled and fell...
"I am here"


"Your worth is not in what you can or cannot do. It's not even in what you are willing or unwilling to do. Your worth is in Christ. Your identity is in Christ. It's not in your calling, it's not in your giftings, it's not in your knowledge, it's not in anything that's not of the natural.."


When an apple fell from the tree to the ground. It is separated. When the apple starts to decompose. It is dying. When the apple decayed, it's dead and what's left is the seed. And that seed is going to grow into a tree with many more apples...

Death is the beginning of life... For one to live, one must die... For us to live, Christ died.
Teach me oh Lord, to die to myself... more and more... help me oh Lord, to believe that the old has passed away, that all things has become new...



Seed grows into trees, ripple causes waves.
"Do not despise the day of small beginning.."



I will be lying if i say the last two months was easy, but "HIS grace is sufficient for me"... I felt that i've learned so much in these two months over the last two years... Many times, the grace which were spoken and cycling around in my head came into practicality. HE is not interested in giving me strength that will last me for the year, strenght that will last me for the months even... HE's interested in my life, HE is interested in every moment in my life, the very hour, the very minutes and even to it very seconds...

HIS grace is sufficient for me only for that moment, the moment of weakness. So that i will go to HIM always... though the grace may last only for the moment, but the grace HE gave is sufficient for me to stay above the circumstances, sufficient to overcome the circumstances, sufficient to reign and have everything in control beyond the circumstances... And with that grace, HE gave me free will. Free will and choice to use the grace to a level i dare and willing to...

Time and time again, HE has shown me that HE's not just interested to get me out of my stupidity and weaknesses but that HE's interested in my life... I stopped believing in myself for a while now.. Until someone called me one day to ask me about a passage of scripture which i studied long ago.. not to mentioned that it started many things too..

After i hung up the phone... i realised that i still got it.. the things that Jesus gave and shown me are still there.. in me, imprinted, not to be washed away.. I came to realise... i didn't have to believe in myself.. i heard HIM say "the gifting and the calling i gave you are without repentance.." "it's for ME to believe in you, and you believe in ME. And I'll always believe in you.."




Day after day, came to realise more and more that it's not about me.. it's all about Jesus.. More and more the knowledge became reality..

2 Cor 12:9 (New American Standard Bible)
9And He has said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness " Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me.