"Screwed" is the buzzword for today...

Nothing seem to be going right for me...


Even the internet connection seem to be going against me...
Well, i'm at east coast park, mac right now.. chilling out, taking a breather before heading back to work... yes, in the middle of the night...

System crashed and technician spoilt many things.. drew on a wrong floor plan made a wrong order.. can anything be any more "wrong"? Oh Jesus... and so.. I took a long walk down from my site (katong area) down to mac.. walked past many places and remembered many things..

These two days ain't exactly good for me because i screwed up quite a bit of things... discovered some stuff and ya... just feeling crappy... Thou i can literally feel that Jesus is just sitting right in front of me.. But let me just grumble now k?

For those who read some of my earlier post may remember this picture...

Nope, i didnt just take this... it was taken quite a while ago... i walked past this place just now and memories just kept coming back... The last time i posted up this picture was somewhere in dec entry i think... i think the last one was in black and white..

This was the place where i first held my ex-gf, watched our first sunrise... and today, she's in the arms of someone else.. *ouch*

Yup... blogs can kill sometimes...

As i read thru somethings.. i asked Jesus, "why is it that my loved ones always end up in the arms of someone else?" And my friend mark, who's sitting opposite me now, got a shock... 1) i spoke the words out. 2) he thought i called him Jesus... haha...

As i'm typing away about my failed relationships, Mark is msging his fiancee.. *am i right? or is it fiance?* What an irony.. Nope.. not desperate to get a gf or what but just some thoughts that flashed thru my mind... thou these thoughts just made me felt more *screwed* now...

I think it's because of these past relationships holds me back from taking a step... for the fear of failing again... and seeing my loved one in the arms of someone again... well.. at least i know that they are loved by their partners now..

For a few years, quite a number of good girls kinda passed me by... *no G, no matchmaking from you please* And so for these few years, i just kept everything to myself... and sometimes, even when the other party advances, i will do stupid things to ruin it... **come to think of it.. i still do stupid things these days.. oh Jesus**

*Warning*What follows after this contained explicit content*read at your own risk*And don't ask questions*

Just recently, i decided to take a step out of this hole i buried myself into and... cut long story short, she's in the arms of someone else... Thank God i didnt see it... thou i was there.. *yup.. i didnt go home..* i... read about it?

I sincerely wish her all the best and ya... dare to love ya? and don't let go...

If you asked me if it was painful.. yes... it is... hmmm... words simply cannot describe what i'm feeling now.. but i thank God i grow stronger in HIM everyday.. because... i need HIM and He's the only one i trust... cuz.. I want her to be happy, and be loved by the one she loves..

Ya.. so i dont have to take out that baseball bat again... haha... rare for me to talk about baseball bat these days... probably because i.. really love her.. and i'm going to do anything to protect her..

Respect my privacy, don't ask... respect the other party.. don't speculate.. or this boring blog is going to get worse.. =) thanx...

The world don't revolve around you steve...
that's something i have to remind myself...
The sun still rise and the wind will blow... and macdonald will still be open.. haha..


And yes..
Love is Patient...
Love endures all things...
and...
Love never Fails...