"It's one thing to be trained to do, it's another to be actually doing it. When the chance presents itself, you can shiver and shake, you may curse and swear. But, can you do it?"

These words simply rung in my head as i lay in wait for my chance.
I must have come here at the wrong season. It has been raining for the last 4 days. I can't remember a moment when it didn't.

Scenes of the training days still run fresh in my memory. It's sweat and blood, sometimes tears. We overcame obstacles and challenges. Fought every fear and tremble. Roared in unison with courage, we cheered one another on.

But beneath the facade of honour and courage, belief and integrity are actually man's ego... Leaping off into open waters, skipping off heights. Often we are doing things we may not need to, with courage we don't have to impress people who don't care... But a few good man remains... "When you are pressed, challenged, fearful and alone, with no one to impress... your response ability is who you actually are..."

As the sound of the cheers in my head faded, i found myself back in reality. Alone. My chance presents itself. Am i the man whom i claimed to be? Am i the man i shown myself to be? Am i living as the man God made me to be, Jesus died for me to be? Fears and doubts cloud my thoughts...

I clenched on to my arms, as i crept slowly, inching steps.... by steps... the old is left behind...